I know I haven’t been on much, having a life out side of tumblr :O
Be back blogging in ten days :)
I didn’t mean to ruin a friendship. It can’t be my fault that I don’t like you, I never lead you on, I just wanted you as a good mate, something I don’t have many of. My friends told you I didn’t like you, way in advance of the party and I told you too. I told you while I was drunk that I just wanted to be friends. You said no hard feelings and everything will go back to how it was. My mistake.. going off with one of your mates, I must admit though, you shouldn’t have gotten angry at me at the time because you went off with my friend when she promised she wouldn’t. The next morning everything was fine, us four talked and acted like normal. Your mate continued to talk to me days after, you got jealous obviously. Why can’t you let us be friends? We have told you multiple times that we are only friends and aren’t starting anything in the forseable future. You ignore him, you refuse to talk to him when he tries to have a conversation. You guys are meant to be really good mates. I can’t stop you liking me and I can’t make myself like you but that doesn’t mean you have to take it out on your mate that just wants to be my friend and has done nothing wrong. Yeah you make me feel special, like one of the only people that seem like they care about me. But I want to have friends too. I feel like shit when I see a text from him saying you ignored him again today, it’s my fault that this happened but I can’t erase the past and I don’t see why you can’t put that night behind you too and be friends with him and me, let me and him be friends and carry on. I hate seeing you and him sad but I can’t deal with much more, I already feel like shit all the time without this.
FUCKING LOST ALL MY FUCKING ITUNES.
5000+ songs ALL fucking gone.
I feel lost without my itunes.
My life has lost all purpose.
My ex that hurt me so much is now one of my best friends. He understands me and won’t judge.
Yet none of my friends know how much he means to me, how much we text.
Then again they don’t understand me at all, they don’t know anything about me.
— Forgive people, it could be the best thing that ever happened to you.
If i can’t help myself and friends can’t help me, if professionals can’t help me and tumblr can’t even help me then what the fuck am i meant to do with my life. I’m unhappy i have no purpose here, why not go the easy way out? I feel like i shouldve done this months ago tbh.
I got called a slut today by my twelve year old brother… because I told him I was getting a tattoo and apparently I only ever have guys over lol
What really annoys me.When I take time out of what I want to do to please others and make them happy but god if I ask for the smallest favour, like walk with me to see a teacher, what I do for them is now an impossible task for them to please me, its like a one way friendship. All I want is friendship in return.
If they ask me to do something and i look hesitant or say no, they puppy dog eye me, bribe me, beg or shun me so it seems like they hate me. Grow up. Just because maybe for once i have other things to do or I’m in the middle of a conversation does not mean i hate you. Why don’t you step into my shoes and you’ll understand that i don’t complain or beg. If i ask and get rejected i happily walk off and do what i need to do.
And just because i’m different from other people and hate certain things doesn’t mean you have to make fun of me or abuse me with the things i hate. its not funny. do you really think i’m going to laugh and be nice to you if you throw things at me or make jokes about me… get a life and grow up.
cross out the truth/what you’ve done:
Appearance
I have/had piercings besides the earI want piercings besides the ears.I have many scars.I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.I have/want a tattoo.I can be self-conscious about my appearance.I have/had braces.
I have more than two piercings.
EmbarrassmentDisney movies still make me cry.I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose
I’ve had my pants rip in public.I’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt.
HealthI’ve gotten stitches.I’ve broken or dislocated a bone
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.I’ve had chicken pox.
Travel
I’ve been to Florida.I’ve driven/ridden over 200 kilometers in one day.I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Colombia
I’ve been to Cuba.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Ottawa
I’ve been to the Caribbean.
I’ve been to Europe.
ExperiencesI’ve gotten lost in my city.I’ve seen a shooting star.I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.I’ve slapped someone.
I’ve kissed someone underwater.I’ve chugged something.
I’ve crashed a car.I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a musical.I’ve auditioned for something.I’ve been on stage.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.I’ve pranked someone.I’ve ridden in a taxi.
Honesty / Crime
I’ve been threatened to be arrested.I’ve broken a law.I’ve done something I promised someone I wouldn’t.I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.I’ve sneaked out.I’ve lied about my whereabouts.I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve been in a fist fight.Death
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals. never been to oneI’ve seen someone/something die.
Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.I have attempted suicide.I’ve thought about suicide before.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
Materialism
I own over 5 rap CD’s.
I’m obsessed with anime/manga.I collected comic books.
I own a lot of makeup.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on E-Bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.
I thrive on compliments.
I thrive on hate.
Random
I can sing low key.
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.I watch the news occasionally or always.I don’t like to kill bugs.I sing in the shower.
I’m a morning person.
I’m a night person.
I’m a sports fanatic.
I care about grammar.
I love spam.
I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.I bake well.I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there’s a spider in the room.I’m really ticklish.I like white chocolate.
I bite my nails.I’m good at remembering names.
I’m good at remembering dates.I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.People
..used to ask if I was anorexic/bulimic.
..called me fat...say I’m skinny...have said I’m ugly...have said I’m pretty.
..have spread rumors about me.
..force me to eat...say I eat too much.
..say I eat too little.Eating
I’ve lost weight.
I’ve gained weight.
I’m at my thinnest.I’m at my biggest.
I’ve lost weight and kept it off.I’ve lost weight, but gained it back.My weight affects my mood. A lot.
I diet.
I’m vegan/vegetarian.I exercise.
I’ve fainted from exhaustion.Family
I’ve sworn at my parents.I’ve planned to run away from home before.I’ve run away from home.My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.I want kids.
I’ve had kids.
I’ve lost a child.Relationships
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’m a swinger.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I have/had a friend with benefits.I miss someone right now.I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve gotten divorced.I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.Someone has/had feelings for me when I didn’t have them back.I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
SexualityI’m a cuddler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.I’ve hugged a stranger.
I’ve kissed a stranger.Bad times
I regularly drink.
I can’t swallow pillsI can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty.I’ve been diagnosed with depression at some point.I have/had anxiety problems.I shut others out when I’m upset.I don’t have anyone to talk to when I’m upset.
I have taken/take anti-depressants.
I’ve slept an entire day before.I’ve plotted revenge.
(via need-an-escape-deactivated20120)
